


Lilac

by ichigohyun (jeyyuum)



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, shortfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24474892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeyyuum/pseuds/ichigohyun
Summary: Yongsun reminded Byulyi of a flower.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Lilac

Yongsun reminded Byulyi of a flower.

It was those purple ones that bloom during midspring. Yongsun reminded her of everything associated with the flower. Maybe it was the elegance of the flower as it dances with the wind, petal swaying back and forth as if it lets the rhythm take control. Maybe it was the way the flower opens up under the warmth radiating from the sun as if it was a symbol of its fresh start after going through the harsh cold of the winter breeze. Maybe it was the calmness it brings as you look at it, naturally being pleasing to the eye without even trying.

Yongsun reminded Byulyi of a flower as she looks at her now, dancing well on her own under the sun without even having to be accompanied by music, hands that were held by Byulyi swaying on her sides as the wind gently caresses her hair. With her eyes closed, Yongsun seemed like she didn’t care about the world that has been too cruel to her.

She looked like she was at a place that only brought her nothing but happiness in that moment.

Byulyi thinks that anywhere can be a place that will bring her nothing but happiness as long as she has Yongsun with her like this.

Yongsun reminded Byulyi of the flower she first gave her on the day she asked the former to be hers.

It was also those purple ones whose petals fade during winter. It was Byulyi’s favorite flower as it reminded her of Yongsun, and she was giving her favorite flower to her favorite person as a silent confession of her giving Yongsun her life. It was a risk that Byulyi wasn’t afraid to take. She has always trusted Yongsun and she knows that she will never hurt Byulyi.

Byulyi was happy when Yongsun took the flower from her hand, but she was at her happiest when Yongsun started keeping the flower by her side all the time as if it was a fragile thing she possesses that needs to be looked after.

Yongsun brings the flower with her everywhere she goes. She was bringing Byulyi in every path that she chooses and in every step that she takes. Byulyi couldn’t be happier.

Yongsun reminded Byulyi of the flower whose petal was plucked by Yongsun and gave it to her on the day they started slipping away. 

It was also those purple ones that makes Byulyi’s favorite flower; it was the flower Byulyi gave her on the day they started dating. The petal seemed as if it will deteriorate on her palm with one move; its corners were lined with brown and its surface began to turn into crust as it lost moisture.

Byulyi remembers Yongsun saying that it was the only thing she could give Byulyi for now—just a part of the flower. She knew that Yongsun _knew._ Yongsun is Byulyi’s first love. But as they grow older and explored the world a little deeper, Byulyi has also discovered things she didn’t know she’ll love as much as she loves Yongsun, or even more.

It was overwhelming as it was all at once; Byulyi learned that there was so much love she could give and so much things she could love and suddenly, she doesn’t know how to love anymore.

Byulyi loved music. Her passion became the thing that fuels her to swim away from the stream that flows in unknown directions as it provided her with a sense of identity. It became her new-found purpose. Finally, she knows where and what she wanted to be.

Finally, she was waking up every morning for herself.

She now owns her life.

Byulyi loved her friends. She took pride at the person she became under the influence of those people. Byulyi felt as if they made her a better person; that with them, she is now in a better place than she was before.

Finally, she was becoming the person that she wanted to be.

She is now her own person.

Byulyi loved every little thing she has more than herself as she now has more love to give due to the things she has achieved, aside from the woman she willingly gave her life to.

Byulyi gradually forgot that she had Yongsun first more than anything.

However, Yongsun couldn’t give the whole flower back to Byulyi and could only give her a part of it as she wasn’t ready and will never be.

Yongsun couldn’t completely let go of the hand that is slipping away from her grasp to hold onto something that is now of Byulyi’s utmost priority—things that are now _more_ important than what they have.

Yongsun reminded Byulyi of the flower that comes out of the former’s mouth the day they were falling apart.

It was also those purple ones which are now tainted with red as Yongsun lets them out of her chest. Byulyi watched Yongsun clutch on her neck as she spits out blood-stained petals that shouldn’t be filling her lungs. She didn’t know what to do and she could only wish that she didn’t know the reason behind it as she watches the roots grow out of Yongsun’s mouth to wrap themselves around her nape.

When they were younger, Byulyi couldn’t imagine this happening as she promised herself that it will never happen.

The love of her life is slowly being taken away in front of her eyes and Byulyi knew that it was her fault.

Byulyi is now old enough to understand that she failed to love the woman she gave her life to when she was young.

Yongsun reminded Byulyi of the flower she was holding as she kneels in front of the operating room.

It was supposed to be purple; the petals of the flower she was holding which was not supposed to be existing shouldn’t be coated in red. Byulyi tries to crush the flower in her palm, hopelessly trying to erase the trace of a love that shouldn’t have been unrequited in the first place. She knows that she can never forget this: the sight of a blood-stained flower lying between her finger that once—that should have _never_ —found home in Yongsun’s lungs.

Byulyi will never forget this but Yongsun will.

It was the price Byulyi has to pay for wanting her life back.

It was for the best.

Yongsun reminded Byulyi of a flower.

It was Byulyi’s favorite flower: lilacs. Those flowers that fade to white during winter. Those flowers that bloom during spring. Those flowers that are colored purple in nature.

The flower that is in her hands now as she walks towards Yongsun who is dancing under the sun in her hospital gown with her eyes closed, hands that should’ve been held tight by Byulyi when she still has the chance swaying on her sides as the wind pushes her hair back from her face.

“Hi. I know you don’t know me but,” Byulyi reaches for Yongsun’s right hand, placing a purple flower on her palm that once grew in Byulyi’s lungs. “I think this is yours.”

Byulyi quickly turns her back and walks away just in time before the roots grow out of her mouth and wrap themselves around her neck.

Yongsun will always remind Byulyi of a flower.


End file.
